Tea Quotes
Most Witty Hall Of Fame

"I always fear that creation will expire before tea time." Tea quotes by Sydney Smith and other illuminaries.



"I like my tea after sex."

~ Oscar Wilde


"Great love affairs start with Champagne and end with tisane."

~ Honoré de Balzac


"Our trouble is that we drink too much tea.  I see in this the slow revenge of the Orient, which has diverted the Yellow River down our throats."

~ J.B. Priestley


"Thank God for tea! What would the world do without tea? How did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea."

"I always fear that creation will expire before teatime."

~ Two tea quotes by Sydney Smith


"Ecstasy is a glass full of tea and a piece of sugar in the mouth."

~ Alexander Puskin


"As long as it is hot, wet and goes down the right way, its fine with me."

~ Sarah Fergerson, The Dutchess of York


"Twinkle, twinkle little bat How I wonder what you're at! Up above the world you fly, Like a tea-tray in the sky”

~ Lewis Carroll


“'Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!' And if you were my wife, I would drink it!”

~ Winston Churchill


"A woman is like a tea bag, you can not tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."

~ Nancy Reagan


"'Tis pity wine should be so deleterious, for tea and coffee leave us much more serious."

~ Lord Byron


"There are many methods for predicting the future."

"For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as "nutty methods.""

"Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time.""

~ Scott Adams


"Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough."

~ A tea quote by an unknown author.

"There are those who love to get dirty and fix things. They drink coffee at dawn, beer after work."

"And those who stay clean, just appreciate things. At breakfast they have milk and juice at night."

"There are those who do both, they drink tea."

~ Gary Snyder


"Tough girls come from New York."

"Sweet girls, they're from Georgia."

"But us Kentucky girls, we have fire and ice in our blood. We can ride horses, be a debutante, throw left hooks, and drink with the boys, all the while making sweet tea, darlin'."

"And if we have an opinion, you know you're gonna hear it."

~ Ashley Judd


"Sit down and drink your GODDAMN tea !@#$%^&*."

~ Cid Highwind


"You've put fucking mushrooms in this haven't you?"

~ Postman Pat


“I was named after it”

~ Mr. T


Finally, no tea quotes will be complete without Dr. Sameul Johnson's, renown for his gigantic tea appetite:

"A hardened and shameless tea drinker, who has for twenty years with tea amuses the evening, with tea solaces the midnight, and with tea welcomes the evening."

~ Dr. Samuel Johnson on himself.

"Tea's proper use is to amuse the idle, and relax the studious, and dilute the full meals of those who cannot use exercise, and will not use abstinence."

"I did not count your glass of wine, why should you nunber my cups of tea?"

~ Dr. Samuel Johnson when reminded by his friend that he had drunk 11 cups of tea.


If you are cold, tea will warm you.

If you are too heated, it will cool you.

If you are depressed, it will cheer you.

If you are excited, it will calm you.

~ Gladstone


There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea.

~ Bernard-Paul Heroux


Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea.

~ Maela Moore


There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.

~ Henry James, The Portrait of a Lady


Which is your favorite tea quote?

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